Friday, January 15, 2010

A Love Letter...

Dear Noah,
The last three weeks have been the best three weeks of my life. Watching you grow and change everyday fills me will excitement and fear all at the same time. I am excited to see you interacting with the world around you as you discover new things but I am filled with fear that the time I have with you will go by to fast and be gone before I know it.
This week I saw you smile for the first time. You were laying on your mat and you looked at me and smiled. It wasn't one of the fake smiles from gas or something else but a real smile and it almost broke my heart. I try so hard to make sure you are a happy baby and seeing that smile just made me feel like I had done something right at that time.
You love to be on your play mat, listening to the music, watching the lights and looking at the animals hanging from it. You can actually scoot yourself all the way around the mat and you love to scoot toward the toucan that hangs on the one side. You are more fascinated with it for some reason than the other toys. You have started to move your mouth in the cooing fashion and have found a few sounds, and I know it won't be long before you are having your own conversations with your toys.
You love to be nursed and snuggle until you fall asleep. Luckily for me, I love this time too. It is so hard to put you down for a nap for I know there will be a day when you will not want your mother to hold you and love on you like you do now. I don't know if a baby can actually be spoiled at your age by being held to much, and I am not quiet sure if I care if you are spoiled in this way, for this time is precious and something I know that I will never get back. I saw it written once...that it is impossible to spoil a baby by holding them to much, since they are used to being held by their mother's 24 hours a day before they are for now I think that this will be my motto, especially when someone tells me I am spoiling you.
You absolutely love your bath time and couldn't be happier being in the tub getting clean. You especially like it when your head is scrubbed, which you must have gotten from me, because I love having my hair played with and washed. You love to look out the kitchen window during bath time too. I am not quiet sure if you are looking at the tree or what fascinates you about the outside since nothing is really close enough for you to see, but you love it regardless.
Mommy and Daddy had to give you a bottle this week since your appetite is definitely a good one, which would explain why I always felt sick if I didn't eat often or quick enough when I was pregnant with you. I believe you hit a growth spurt though, and after five straight hours of nursing, mommy needed a break.
I have done the one thing I swore I would never do, and that is let you sleep in bed with us. Honestly it scares me to death. I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you, but I have become more comfortable with it over time. You are so content snuggled against my belly, in the same place you have been for the last 10 months. It is amazing when I look at you and actually realize that you..all of you...was tucked away in my tummy. What a true miracle and gift from God you honestly are.
There are a million more things that I could say to you about how you have changed my life in such a short time, if only I could find the words, but for now they are held in my heart.
I hope you know how much you are truly loved.
Love Always,