Thursday, April 29, 2010

Rejoice in EVERY Moment...

If motherhood has taught me anything at all it is this: to be thankful and rejoice in EVERY moment that God gives you with your child.
And when I say EVERY moment, I honestly mean EVERY last moment.

This is by no means an easy lesson or one that fell on me in the first few moments of motherhood, but I feel lucky that I did learn it and continue to grow in it within the first few months of my child's life. Trust me when I say learning this lesson and always keeping it in the back of my mind, makes all the "hard" moments a little more tolerable.

Don't get me wrong I am by no means a mother who thinks she has it all figured out. I am also not naive in thinking that I have an perfect angel child. I would not say that I am a "new age thinker" who doesn't believe that there will come a time when my child needs a good ole' fashion swat on the butt either...actually that thought has already crossed my mind, he was just lucky he wasn't a year older throwing the same fit.

What I have learned is to cherish every moment, the good and the bad because in the long run you never know when that moment will be your last. The last time you have to wake up every two hours to breastfeed you brand new baby. The last time you get to breastfeed at all. The last time you have to wake up with your baby in the middle of the night to rock him back to sleep. The last time he needs your help supporting his head before he can fully do it on his own. The last time he needs you to change his diaper, give him a bath, feed him, brush his teeth, hold his hand, kiss his boo-boos or tuck him in at night. The last time he wants you to hug him in public, take him to school, meet his friends or brings a girl home for the last time. The last time he sleeps in your house before moving into his own, the last time you are the "woman in his life" before he ask another woman to be his wife. The list could go on and on.

I have already experienced a few "last moments" with my baby who is already, but only, 4 months old and to be honest many tears have already been shed for the missed opportunities to just enjoy those moments a little longer. To not fret about when "this phase" will end, but to just learn to breath and be present and enjoy EVERY moment.

I found this poem on another friend's blog and it really summed up how I feel. WhenI googled it, the poem is actually a book written by Karen Kingsbury, and one that will obviously be going on the to-buy list. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, but more importantly I hope you learn to cherish EVERY last moment with your child because it makes EVERY moment worth it.

Let Me Hold You Longer
By: Karen Kingsbury
"Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts:
First smiles and teeth and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away and leave to me your past,
And I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts.
The last time that I held a bottle to your baby lips.
The last time that I lifted you and held you on my hip.
The last time when you woke up crying needing to be walked.
When last you crawled up with your blanket, wanting to be rocked.
The last time that you ran to me still small enough to hold,
The last time that you said you'd marry me when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments and bright flashes from the past-
Would I have held you longer if I knew they were your last?
Our last adventure to the park, your final midday nap,
The last time when you wore your favorite faded baseball cap.
Your last few hours of kindergarten, last days of first grade,
Your last at bat in Little League, last colored picture made.
I never said goodbye to all your yesterdays long past.
So what about tomorrow--will I recognise your lasts?
The last time that you catch a frog in that old backyard pond.
The last time that you run barefoot across our fresh-cut lawn.
Silly, scattered images will represent your past.
I keep on taking pictures, not quiet sure of your lasts...
The last time that I comb your hair or stop a pillow fight.
The last time that I pray with you and tuck you in at night.
The last time that we cuddle with a book, just me and you.
The last time that you jump in our bed and sleep between us two.
The last piano lesson, last vacation to the lake.
Your last few weeks of middle school, last soccer goal you make.
I look ahead and dream of days that haven't come to pass.
But as I do, I sometimes miss today's sweet, precious lasts...
My life keeps moving faster, stealing precious days that pass.
I want to hold you longer--want to recognise your lasts.
The last time that you need my help with details of a dance.
The last time that you ask me for advice about romance.
The last time that you talk to me about your hopes and dreams.
The last time that you wear a jersey for your high school team.
I've watched you grow and barely noticed seasons as they pass.
If I could freeze the hands of time, I'd hold on to your lasts.
For come some bright fall morning you'll be going far away.
College life will beckon in a brilliant sort of way.
One last hug, one last goodbye, one quick and hurried kiss.
One last time to understand just how much you will be missed.
I'll watch you leave and think how fast our times together past.
Let me hold on longer God, to every precious last.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Two by Two the months pass by...

Dear Noah,

Oh the changes that take place in such a short time! Noah your momma is amazed at how quickly you change. This month was definitely not a disappointment. You started your forth month off by rolling over from your tummy to your back and although you have proven that you rolling over wasn't a fluke, you are definitely selective in where and how often you choose to roll over. The first time I found you rolled over was when I went to get you out of your crib. You were facing upwards which is not how momma put you to bed. I think that you were just as bewildered as momma about the whole experience. I think that most mornings you would be rolled over onto your back if you wouldn't first scoot yourself to the side of the bed, conveniently under your music box. Now as you try to roll over your booty hits the switch turning your music on and off. This happens more often than I can tell you, but you think it is funny.

Your other big accomplishment this month was being introduced to your first foods! Momma was trying to hold out until you were over four months old, however, you tried to eat every two hours on the 16th of April so I decided to give you a try on something new. Daddy and I mixed up your cereal and put you in your highchair, wiped out the baby spoon and you were in love! It took you a few minutes to understand what was fully going on, but once you figured it out you couldn't wait to get the next spoon full in your mouth. Then you tried to show momma how smart you are (even though I already know :) by taking the spoon from my hand and trying to feed yourself! And you did it! You actually got the spoon in and out of your mouth a couple of times. You did really good on your rice cereal for a few days so on Monday we decided to let you try your first Gerber food of Applesauce. Let's just say that today Applesauce was not your most favorite thing! I am sure given some time though and a day when you are a little more awake to eat you will learn to love Applesauce.

This month also brought your first cold. You got so congested that momma actually slept in your room one night because I was scared. You were having so much trouble breathing. I am not really sure if the congestion was caused by a little bug going around since momma and daddy got sick too, or if it has more to do with your teeth possible moving. Either way I am so glad that it has almost ended. Momma had to take you into the bathroom and sit in the steam, followed by a warm shower to loosen the crud. Daddy lowered one side of your box spring so your head was elevated and we also ran the Vick's Vaporizer. Momma gave you Tylenol for the first time because you were so uncomfortable and for a few days your temperature was close to 100 degrees F. Through it all, you were actually a pretty happy and content baby. You slept a little more and ate a little less, but the smiles never left your face.

Momma's heart has also been warmed this month by the return of your laughter! I am so glad that you have rediscovered this and are beginning to put it to full use. You laugh when daddy plays with you and when momma num nums on your neck, checks or belly.
You have also really began to imitate your daddy. Daddy has been working with you on saying momma, and you actually have begun to say it! The first time I heard you say it I thought for sure it was a coincidence, but you said it four more times in a row...and then when momma pulled the video camera out you decided to throw a fit, so momma couldn't get it on tape. You and daddy take turns gurgling, saying your m sounds, blowing spit bubbles by vibrating your tongue between your lips and sticking you tongue out at each other. It is a special time between you and daddy which you don't always let momma in on. When I come over to check you and daddy out I sometimes feel like I stepped into a boy's club where no girls are allowed. You become quiet and just look at daddy with your eyes saying "what's she doing here? I thought this was between us?" But honestly it doesn't bother momma to much. You and daddy need your time, and it makes me so happy to know that your momma has a wonderful husband who is such an amazing dad to you, our son. Momma hopes you grow to realize how lucky you are to have your daddy. He is an amazing man, husband, father, and an excellent role model for you to look up to.

You are also becoming so well behaved when you and momma go out shopping or running errands. You really enjoy looking around at the bright colors in the store and anything that is near you. You have become much more content sitting in your car seat; your stroller; or a cart, and playing with your toys that are attached to your car seat. You coo and smile and are such a handsome little boy, momma always gets tons of compliments on you. Everyone makes over you and how handsome you are, how much hair you have and your big smiles. They can not get over how well behaved you are and how social you are. You truly are a joy to be around.

Noah the last month has brought so many smiles to momma's face, I can only say Thank-you. Thank-you for being a bundle of joy that makes momma's heart melt every time I hear your laugh, see you smile or even breath in that sweet baby smell while you are snuggled against my chest.
With All My Love,