Sunday, February 27, 2011

Day 27: Photo Challenge

Day 27: A picture of yourself and a family member.
This is my Father, Starl, on my wedding day in 2008. I chose my dad because he hasn't been mentioned in the 30 days yet. My dad and I are pretty close. He never fails to tell me that he loves me and is proud of me and for that I am thankful. My dad is gentle and kind and I could count on one hand the number of times that I have seen him get angry. He gives wonderful hugs and always makes me feel loved when I am with him. I am so thankful that we have a good relationship. That is not to say that the relationship is perfect, it has seen it's stressful times, but what relationship hasn't. When you come from a divorced family, something about relationships is different, not bad, just different. 

When I was little there were so many times that I was mad or upset with my dad for reasons that I am not going to discuss here, but for whatever reason, there are very few times he knew about it. I have never been in a fight with my dad that involved raised voices and other disrespectful things a child or parent shouldn't do. Unfortunately my mother got the brunt of those battles. Even today when I am upset with my father, he is probably the last to know it. Maybe it is an insecurity of mine. Maybe I have felt guilty about ruining the time we do get together, or maybe I was afraid that he wouldn't love me as much if I fought with him. 

Luckily my dad has come a long ways since I was little. Of course there are still things that make me mad as an adult and some choices he makes I will never understand, but maybe it isn't my place. He is still the last to know, if I even tell him, when those times of hurt or anger come, but I am working on it. 

Now that I have a kid of my own I wish even more that I lived closer to my dad. When I went home to visit last fall my son, who had never met my dad until then, fell instantly in love with him. At 9 months old my son basically lept into my father's arms giving him instant hugs and love. I wish they were closer. I wish my dad had more chances to be with and play with his only grand child. I hope that next year we will live closer to home so we can visit more often, and so that hopefully my dad can come and visit us too. 

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