I am scared of time moving to fast and my child growing up.
I am scared of being financially inept.
And I am terrified of this:
(This isn't the best picture, but how do I express that which i am afraid of when I don't know how to pin point it exactly myself.) I am terrified of going back to school...to Graduate School to be exact. I am terrified of starting at another school and hating it. Terrified of starting a "career" that I eventually won't like. Scared of being the "old student" in the class room, of not remembering anything from my undergraduate degree I earned 8 years ago and have yet to use. Beyond terrified of retaking the GRE, the BILLS that come with school, finding the time to study, re-learning to not procrastinate (yeah it took me two years to learn that the first go around!), figuring out who I would be able to get recommendations from. Don't even get me started on being terrified and totally stumped on how to write my resume...seeing I haven't done any relevant work in how many years? So pretty much every aspect of thinking about, applying to, being accepted to, committed to, attending and graduating from graduate school terrifies me. I can not even go into enough detail about it to describe it. I know I should go back and part of me really wants to, but another part of me wants to stay at home with my children and be content. We will see how it plays out.
There are plenty of graduate programs online! Good ones, too! I'm taking a Bachelor's program online because the military keeps moving us and because I get to stay home with Sam. He loved watching my online lectures when he was a baby. :-)
ReplyDeleteYes, though. School is terrifying sometimes, but the success outweighs the terror, I promise.